like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
