The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
