the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
