hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
