NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
