No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
