so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
