no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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