is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
