the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
