Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
