that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
