she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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