We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
