I don't think brook has ever known best
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I want her autograph on my taint
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize