now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
