Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
