Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
we should paint friendship bongs
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
