remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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