Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
