Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
