he thought i was a dude.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
