omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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