There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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