i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
