There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
