Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
