just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
