Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Let's paint friendship bongs
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
