the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
