My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I forgot how hot balto sounded
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
