I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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