The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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