we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
