i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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