dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
