why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
