So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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