Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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