I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
