He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
