Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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