No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
