I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
