so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
