I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
