If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
