k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
