I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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