3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
