Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Randomize
