70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
