you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
