just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
