Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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