How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
