Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
